Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
