Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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