i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
