Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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