She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
FUCK WHALES
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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