people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
