NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
