I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I stole a fireplace last night.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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