I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
