fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
