I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
