where does the pee come out of this thing
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
