I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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