who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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