I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Randomize
