Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
