After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
