hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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