Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
