Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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