At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
