Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
