That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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