Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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