My Higher Power is John Stamos
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
