I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
