I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
