My underwear smells like fireworks.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
