The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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