her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
