I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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