I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
