I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
