Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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