i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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