Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Randomize
