Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
you would pick up someone in the library
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
