Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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