North Korea, Best Korea!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
