I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
