you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
