Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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