Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
