3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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