i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
