if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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