at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
