sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
