I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
