I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
