Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
