you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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