after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
