Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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