What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
